1. Complain in great detail about your last colon exam.
2. Refuse to allow anyone to watch TV unless you can hold the remote. Once you have it, leave the room.
3. Tie all your pens and pencils to your desk and swear that "they tried to make a break for it."
4. Begin to collect wheelchairs. Ask your roommate if s/he's "seen any cripples lately."
5. Spend all your money on inflatable objects. Fill the room with them. Then, hold mock "Macy's Day" parades in your room.
6. Blindfold yourself. Complain loudly about having seen "too much pain" in the world.
7. Throw away the phone, stereo, computer, etc., claiming that there will be "no worshipping of false idols" in your room.
8. Enter and exit your room any way but through the door.
9. Collect cigarette butts. Make decorative earrings, necklaces, and tapestries from them.
10. Burn incense while out of the room. Complain about it when you re-enter, then douse every object with air freshener.
11. Construct giant likenesses of the 'A' team from lego, then put on episodes of your own at 3am.
12. Slap everything 3 times before using it. EVERYTHING.
13. Cry violently whenever the most minor problems arise (e.g. stubbed toe, paper cuts, misspelled words on papers, etc).
14. Memorize infomercials & recite them in their entirety to him/her.
15. Wear all white, surgical gloves, and surgical masks. Spray disinfectant everywhere.
16. Offer to cut his/her hair. After you finish, allow them to watch as you stuff a voodoo doll in their likeness.
17. Fill the room with fans. Turn them all on at once and practice kite flying.
18. Buy a microphone or a bullhorn. Refuse to speak without it.
19. Talk about yourself in 3rd person. Constantly.
20. Build card houses directly in front of the door, then throw violent fits when they're destroyed.
21. One day, proclaim the implementation of the "Buddy System." Follow him/her everywhere with your hand on their shoulder.
22. Spend days learning thousands of little bits of information, then expound them all on your roommate at once.
23. Spit in between every word you say.
24. Take up origami or balloon-animal making. Learn to make only one animal, then make thousands of them.
25. Leave handcuffs and chains lying around. Ask him/her if s/he's "open to new experiences."
26. Attempt to become one with the floor by throwing yourself violently onto it.
27. Ditto for walls.
28. Refuse to let his/her friends into the room without full body searches.
29. Get a tank of helium. Breathe it at all times. Talk at length about world issues.
30. Refuse to talk to them without constant eye contact.
31. Build a pulpit in your room. Preach at will.
32. Bring home vagrants to spend a week or two in your room. If s/he complains, rant about "helping your fellow man."
33. Complain at length about how "Tattoo" from "Fantasy Island" never got his own show.
34. Iron your clothes while wearing them.
35. Buy rolls of bubble wrap and play with them at all times. Especially good during midterm week.
36. Ask him/her inane questions, such as "Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?" "How do you know when you run out of invisible ink?"
37. Drool a lot.
38. Devote all the time you have attempting to achieve Jedi mastery.
39. Collect handguns & mumble about "showing them all someday."
40. Stockpile weapons. If s/he inquires, claim you have to prevent England from "taking back Massachusetts."
41. Spend weeks attempting to make "the perfect paper airplane."
42. Replace all your clothing with pelts.
43. Refuse to use electricity. Unplug everything.
44. Bring religious zealots home to "enlighten" your roommate.
45. Change your sexual orientation daily.
46. Claim you are being spied on. Insist on speaking in code at all times.
47. Wear a life jacket, gas mask, burn suit, acid-proof boots and a hard hat everywhere. If s/he comments, tell him/her "Be prepared."
48. Read year-old newspapers and report the news daily to your roommate.
49. Start a "Save the Wasp" drive. Make your room a "safehouse" for the insects.
50. Have a friend send you one of those cards which plays music when opened. Read it every five minutes, laughing hysterically when the music starts.
51. See how many different objects you can fit up your nose at once. Designate him/her "official cleaner."